One Perfect Day

Today is my birthday. I don't know what 47 is supposed to feel like, but I definitely feel younger than how I thought it would feel, if that makes sense. I still feel strong and vital and engaged with my life. And perhaps more importantly, I feel more like me than at any other time before. I'm not sure if it is the process of ageing, or the effect of having a life threatening disease but I feel confident in who I am, I trust the choices I make and I love my body despite the scars.

I had a look at a few of my blog entries from this time last year and realised that I feel so much happier and more confident with my clothes choices now, too. When my surgery was fresh and I first had a new body to dress, I was so terrified that nothing would look good that I wore anything that worked, without thinking too much about how it fitted into my personal style. Now I have realised firstly that lots of things work and secondly, that the world will not stop turning if I look flat-chested. Those two realisations have allowed to be be much more discerning in my choices and led to me buying clothes that I truly love.

                                                                  Top: Cue
                                                                  Pants:Country Road
                                                                  Shoes:Wittner
I wore this outfit today, and felt great. It contains the neutral tones that I love, simple pants and a top with enough detail and interest to draw attention from my chest. And the heels and lipstick provide the femininity to balance the trousers. There's something magical about wearing an outfit that truly feels like "you".

I have a collection of memories of perfect moments, when I have been aware of feeling completely content and happy. They are mostly simple: sitting in the sun reading, lying in bed with my husband, listening to music at a bar. Today, reflecting on the beautiful life that I have and the wonderful people in it, I collected another one. Do you have memories of a perfect day?

One Perfect Day by Little Heroes (LOVE the 80's clothes!)

True Colours

October is the month of my birth. It is also the month for breast cancer awareness and a time when it seems impossible to escape from the sea of pink that engulfs the internet, the grocery store and pretty much anywhere else you care to look.

I feel quite ambivalent about this. On one hand, I recognise that promoting awareness and raising funds for research are valuable and important. Encouraging women to have their screening done and to investigate any breast changes is something I am happy to get behind. And I do think awareness can make things easier for survivors. Pink can become a convenient shorthand, a way of alerting people to think before they speak. I have a close-fitting lycra gym tank that does not hide my chest at all, and I think that the fact that it happens to be bright pink (very bright pink!) probably inadvertently clues people in on why I look the way I do.

However, I also really dislike the sexualisation of breast cancer. "Save the TaTa's" is not an empowering message for someone who has had to sacrifice their breasts in order to save their life. Neither is a "No Bra" day. Somehow the emphasis has become all about breasts and the cancer bit has been forgotten. Someone on the Facebook group Flat and Fabulous wryly observed that judging from all the media pictures that are shared, it would be reasonable to conclude that the top risk factors for breast cancer are being young and beautiful. I suppose the core of my unease is that slackivism and pinkwashing undermine the reality that, for many women breast cancer is about loss and disfigurement and pain and death. And how they choose to negotiate that reality shouldn't be dictated by the need of our society for them to be sexy. Or positive. Or strong. Or feminine. Or any of the other adjectives that seem to be compulsory for women struggling with this disease and it's aftermath.

So this month, I will donate to an organisation that supports breast cancer research and hope that women in the future have a better chance of surviving metastatic disease than we have now. And I will be wearing black. It seems to me to be a far more appropriate colour for this experience than pink.

True Colours by Cindy Lauper

Your Friends Will Tell You Who You Are

I have a group of friends from University who have remained in touch for the past decade and a half. Every year, we have a weekend away together, with a prize, "The Cumquat Cup", being awarded for the most entertaining or outrageous behaviour. Last year we did not manage to get together; the combination of young families and new babies, stressful new jobs and health issues conspired against us. However this year we are making up for lost time with a weekend in Canberra for the Floriade festival, so I thought I would show you my weekend-away.

One of the themes often discussed on the forum at YouLookFab is the problem of buying clothes for your fantasy life - the life you wish you led but actually don't. The good news for me is that this whole weekend is the fantasy life I have in mind when I choose clothes -sitting around talking and drinking wine, frequenting cafes and restaurants and maybe even catching some live music.

Floriade. I wanted something comfortable with plenty of eating room. Leggings and jumper are optional, depending on the weather. Comfy shoes are a must.

So my final tally: 1 pair of jeans, 1 skirt, 1 dress, 2 tops, 2 jumpers, 2 pair of shoes and a coat.

One of the wonderful things about this weekend will be the freedom to present myself without reference to anyone's expectations. My friends love and accept me whatever I wear, and in a strange city I am unlikely to meet acquaintances unexpectedly and so have no need to dress for that possibility. I plan to enjoy every minute of my fantasy life.  Do you have a fantasy life you wish you could dress for?

Your Friends Will Tell You Who You Are by Kate Miller-Heidke

In These Shoes?

One of the ideas that has captured my imagination over the last 12 months has been that of the capsule wardrobe. I really like the idea of having collections of items that work together, are appropriate for the activities of my life and express my style in a cohesive way. I have enjoyed reading the blog Unfancy, as I think Caroline has great style, and manages to achieve all those things with a carefully chosen seasonal wardrobe. Seeing her outfits has allowed me to realise that my heart belongs to neutrals, and I resolved to attempt to organise my own wardrobe along the lines she suggests. I find casual dressing quite difficult, and I hoped the Unfancy inspiration would help me put together some stylish weekend outfits.

Shirt:Anne Fontaine

Pants:Country Road

Shoes:Wittner

This was my first attempt. I liked the colours. I liked the silhouette. It felt easy to wear. Yet somehow it just didn't feel right. So I tried switching out the shirt for a pleated tank.

                                                              Tank: Country Road

I felt so much better wearing this, and it suddenly occurred to me that the first look was quite androgynous. Trousers and button-downs are not very feminine and it seems that I need a big dose of feminine in my outfits for them to feel like they belong to me. But what about my button-downs? One of advantages of having a flat chest is that for the first time in my adult life, I can actually wear button-downs without them gaping and looking blowsy. I really didn't want to abandon them!

Skirt: Veronika Maine

Luckily, I found that one or two feminine aspects to an outfit are enough to make me feel happy in my clothes. At last, the origin of my love of high heels becomes apparent! What parts of your style are central in making your outfits feel like "you"?

In These Shoes? by Kirsty MacColl

Silver Linings

This week I experienced a major clothing disappointment. One of my favourite stores, Cue, had a 30% off day and there, on the rack, was the most beautiful dress. It was similar to the one Marilyn Monroe wore in "Seven Year Itch", except it had a crew neck and I briefly got excited that it might work for me. The scene in the movie where Marilyn stands over a grate is the definition of sexy in my husband's world and I had visions of surprising him. Unfortunately, the bodice had princess seams which just looked silly without breasts to fill them, so I sadly put the dress back on the rack. And then sulked about how unfair life is.

I usually manage to be much more accepting of what works and what doesn't. When I had breasts, there were many clothes that I couldn't wear, either because I couldn't squeeze my breasts into them or they were designed to be worn without a bra, or they would have shown cleavage. So today I decided I would celebrate my new body by showing you a few outfits that I love and that I never could have worn before my mastectomy.

                                                      
                                                          Top: Carla Zampatti
                                                          Pants: Cue

One of the advantages of having a flat chest is that it is easier to get away with showing a bit of skin without it looking like a sexual display. I would never have worn this before: the visible bra issue and the display of cleavage would have felt too much. This top makes it quite obvious that I have no breasts, so it feels less revealing than it actually is and I feel confident and comfortable wearing it.

 

This  next outfit reminds me of being a small child in the 70's when my mother dressed me in trouser suits.
 I  previously avoided tops or dresses without structure at the waist, as they would tend to fall straight down from my bust and make me look like I was wearing a tent. A flat chest allows the triangular shape of the dress to become obvious and provides a gamine look that I would never have achieved in a million years before my surgery.

                                                         Dress: Cue
                                                         Pants: Cue
The conclusion I have come to is that no matter what your body type, some things will work and some won't. Looking for the silver lining by choosing clothes that make you look and feel great can be a powerful tool in accepting and loving your body. Do you have styles you can wear now that you couldn't in the past?

Silver Linings by Kacey Musgraves

The First Cut Is The Deepest

A few weeks ago, I mentioned how much I was enjoying the crop top trend and my intention to buy a few more of them. It's quite exciting to me to discover a silhouette I feel so comfortable in and it brings back fond memories of my adolescence when I wore them the first time around. I spent the weekend doing a bit of sewing so I thought I would show you the result of my efforts and the two crop tops that I have added to my original one from last year.

                                             Skirt:Veronika Maine
                                             Crop: Veronika Maine
                                             Shoes: Wittner
This is a skirt I wore a lot in summer last year. When I tried it on this week, I still liked it but it felt a bit short. It seems that my eye has become more accustomed to midi skirts and the proportions just looked wrong to me. I spent a chunk of Saturday sewing a wide piece of lace edging to the bottom of the skirt, giving it a bit more length. I was really pleased with how this turned out. This is the crop top I showed you a few weeks ago, when I layered it over a long top. It is just long enough to be worn on it's own without exposing any skin, so today it is going solo.

                                                Crop: Carla Zampatti
This is my new crop, which I have had on layby for the past 6 weeks. I was so excited to get it home. It is much shorter and I am wearing it as a layering piece over a camisole. It feels so pretty and feminine and I love the textural element of the fabric.

I was trying to analyse what it is about crop tops that is so appealing to me, and I have concluded that they perform a number of valuable services: they cover up my chest and provide me with a sense of privacy and protection, they allow me to expose my waist and project a feminine shape even in the absence of breasts and they give me the opportunity to add interest  to some of my plainer, simpler outfits. And perhaps the first time we wear a fashion  in our younger years leaves an indelible impression that we never fully leave behind. Do you have any fashions from your youth that you still truly, madly, deeply love?

The First Cut Is The Deepest by Cat Stevens

Father's Day

This has been a very busy weekend for me. Sunday was Father's Day and also my eldest son's 23rd birthday. I tell my husband that I am a pretty fabulous gift-giver. Not many men get a son for Father's Day! The other fun thing happening at the moment is the Brisbane Writer's Festival and on Sunday we spent the day there listening to some fascinating panel discussions and talks. I wanted to wear something comfortable and loose, but also a little dressy because we planned to go out for dinner afterwards.

                                                                 Pants and T-shirt -Veronika Maine
                                                                 Scarf-Mimco
                                                                 Shoes-Joanne Mercer
This is a little brighter than I normally wear, but I like the happy, arty vibe. These pants are from last summer. They are very soft and loose and extremely comfortable for both listening and eating! I wore a scarf across my chest which turned out to be fortuitous as the breeze was quite cool and the extra layer was welcome. I bought this short jacket this month and really like the cropped style and the warmth it provides as we slowly transition to Spring.

                                                                Jacket-Veronika Maine
After the Writer's Festival, we went out to Harajuku Gyoza for dumplings and sake, and then for ice-cream. It was lovely to have my family together. We all took turns at telling a story or fond memory about the birthday boy, much to his embarrassment, but I hope that the evening will become a fond memory for him. Here is a photo of him enjoying his birthday dinner.

How did you celebrate Father's Day?

Father's Day by Weddings, Parties, Anything